3 subconscious lies you tell without noticing that make people like you less

I was a big fat liar (pants on fire and everything).

In all likelihood, so are you. Researchers found the average person tells two lies a day. These lies aren't complete fabrications, they're usually half-truths or stretching the truth. Conveniently holding back the truth is a form of lying. 

Most of the time, people don’t even realize they are lying.

These subconscious lies are dangerous.

Subconscious lies can quickly make you unlikable. Here are three of the most common subconscious lies to be on the lookout for.

1. We pretend we know more than we do.

Whenever people used to ask me “Have you heard of this thing?” I’d say “It rings a bell” even when I’d never heard of it in my life. I’d pretend I read the whole book or seen entire movies even though I’d only heard someone else talk about it.

I was trying to look smarter than I was. I didn’t want them to think I was out of the loop.

2. We hide our mistakes

I remember when I failed my driver's test I told everyone it had been postponed. I'd tell people I never saw their email when I forgot to respond. I would say I got stuck in traffic when I really slept in.

I thought people would like me less if they saw my mistakes. Turns out being honest about your mistakes makes people like you more. I’ll explain at the end.

3. We hide our flaws

I used to never tell anyone I had dyslexia. I thought people would judge me for it. 

I pretended I was fine when I wasn’t. I’d bottle up my emotions because I thought being vulnerable would push people away.

All 3 of these are an attempt to make people like you.

We portray this flawless exterior because we think the fewer flaws we show the more people will like us. But the truth is, with such a glossy exterior people have nothing to stick to, nothing to connect to.

You become a shallow shell of a person.

As Psychologist Donald Glover says “Humans are attracted to each other's rough edges.”

Think about your favourite movie characters.

Mine is Miles Morales from “Into the Spider-Verse”. I like him because I relate to his anxieties, his worries, and his flaws. If he was this perfect golden boy I probably would think he’s cocky.

What makes them likable is seeing them work on their flaws. 

The same goes for you.

When you’re honest about your mistakes and vulnerable about your feelings people can relate to you. People like you more when they realize you're a flawed human being, like them. Lying only makes you cocky. It's pretending to be better than you are. 

People can sense it from a mile away.

People appreciate your honesty more than they might dislike your mistakes.

• When I tell people I failed my driver's test, I connect with people who have done the same.

• When I’m late I apologize and people appreciate my honesty and trust me more.

• Being honest about what I don’t know gives people a chance to teach me and invest in me.

• Being vulnerable about my feelings helps people connect and bond with me.

People can only come to like the real you if you're willing to show them the real you.

If you want to become your most charismatic self without pretending to be extroverted, check out the Charisma Gym. It's like a gym for your social skills. Inside we host free interactive workshops where we learn to improve our social skills.

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• Introverts who want socializing to feel less draining.

• Anyone who wants to improve their social life.

Click HERE to join. It's Free for the first 100 people, then it will become paid.

See you inside

That’s a wrap!

— Justus Bosch

P.S. The best way to defend yourself if you lie in court...