Here is how to make a killer first impression, light people up, and make people remember you.

Whether you like it or not, we judge books by their cover. 

Nielsen Books found a good book cover can more than double a book's sales. No matter the content inside. First impressions are almost everything.

The same goes for people

In a courtroom, people are much more likely to vote in favour of whoever presents their case first. 

If the prosecutor begins the jury's first impression is to see the defendant as guilty. If the Defendants side begins their first impression is to see the defendant as innocent. For the rest of the case, the jury will tend to look for things to confirm their first impression. They'll even disregard information opposing evidence. 

The jury's first impression can be the difference between going free and going to prison. (even if you're innocent).

We're all inclined to do this, it's human nature.

Instead of complaining about it, let's use it to our advantage.

A good first impression makes all future interactions easier. But at the same time, It can take a long time to counteract a bad first impression. 

After moving to a new city I’ve introduced myself to 100s of new people.

Here are the 3 steps to making a first impression that will get you noticed.

The goal of a first impression is to give people reasons to:

• Like you

• Trust you

• Respect you

Without being fake.

I’m skipping the obvious things:

• A good handshake

• Good eye contact

• Smiling

These are super important. If these aren't habits, get started, they’re unnegotiable. 

Some not-so-obvious ways include:

Step 1: Be better than good

We greet each other by asking: “Hi, How are you?”

To which everyone responds: “Good”

It's boring, often untrue and so common people tune it out. 

Because “good” is so commonplace saying anything else captures people's attention. Start your interactions on the right foot by infusing a bit more energy.

When someone asks “How are you”

Be better than good.

Respond with:

• Phenomenal

• Awesome

• Fantastic

• Amazing

• Ecstatic

• Stellar

• Etc…

It’s up to you. 

People tend to mirror the energy you have going into an interaction.

By responding with something better than good (along with an energetic tone) you help others be better than good. During my time as a greeter at a restaurant, I’d see customers light up and smile when I responded this way.

Don’t underestimate this. 

Now, I’m not asking you to lie. 

If you don’t feel better then good, don’t say so. But I also believe we get to choose how we feel going into situations. There is always something to feel Fantastic about.

Don’t lie, make it your reality.

Step 2: Stop treating it like a job interview

Meeting someone isn’t a job interview.

The point isn’t to exchange factual information or increase knowledge. Treating it like this bores everyone.

We interact with people to have fun, connect, and talk about interesting things.

The 2 most common questions you get asked are “What do you do?” and “Where are you from?”.

But the truth is people care very little about those things. What they want is anything interesting to end their boredom. 

People will love you for ending their boredom. 

Instead of answering with factual 1-word answers (a plumber, Toronto), have some fun with it. 

Answer “What do you do?” with a funny way of explaining your job. 

• Doctor: I cut people open for a living

• Construction worker: I make adult-sized Lego structures

• Landscaper: I’m a professional tree hugger

• Student: I’m working on perfecting the art of procrastination. 

These always get a chuckle and make people more interested in you. Get creative.

Answer “Where are you from” with an obvious outlandish joke.

• I’m actually a hobo, I came here looking for a place to sleep

• Mars, I’m here looking to see if Earth is worth colonizing.

• I’m from a small rural town called New York.

Step 3: Gain Trust and Respect

The first two steps do a good job of getting people to like you.

But to get them to see you as more than a funny person, you need to work on gaining their trust and respect. It's the difference between being entertaining and admirable.

It's the difference between people wanting to be around you and wanting to get to know you. 

You do this by sharing values and connecting with people through your answers.

After giving your goofy answer you can follow up with a more authentic one. Or give your authentic one first if that's your style. 

Let's go back to “What do you do?” or “Where are you from?”

Don’t answer with only the facts.

• I’m an accountant working at XYZ company

• I live in Washington. 

This kind of answer kills conversion. Unless the person has the same job or is from the same place, there is nothing to create a connection.

Instead, answer their question while revealing your values. (a value is anything you care about)

If you value family you could answer:

• I’m an accountant at XYZ company which has been great because they let me work from home and spend time with my kids.

• We moved out of the city to a country house outside Washington because we thought it was a better place to raise the family. 

Or if value hard work/career advancement:

• I’m a construction worker at the moment but I’m hoping to get promoted this year and manage a team.

• I used to live in XYZ small town but I’ve moved into the city to start my own business. 

If you're a student, talk about why you chose your degree or what you hope to achieve. 

I know this might sound cheesy.

But I promise you people appreciate this level of honesty. More people can connect with you through your values than your logistics. By sharing your values you attract people who share the same values.

Even if they can't relate, people respect and trust you more when they understand your values.

DISCLAIMER: This shows you how to best present yourself. But if all you do is talk about yourself you’ll come across as egotistical. The best interactions aren’t all about you. Talk about yourself when asked but otherwise keep the focus on others.

P.S. Take these steps 1 at a time. Don’t try and use them all at once. Our brain might be a supercomputer but it can only focus on 1 thing at a time.