How to make people cry with laughter even if you're not naturally funny.

In his book “Man's Search for Meaning” Victor Frankl recounts the horrors of the holocaust.

It was normal for prisoners to be starved, beaten, worked to death and executed. In his reflections, Frankl recounts how he and his fellow prisoners found ways of coping.

One of his most powerful tools was humour.

"Humor was another of the soul's weapons in the fight for self-preservation. It is well known that humour, more than anything else in the human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds."

Victor Frankl

Humour is a trick we learned while mastering the art of life.

• It helps us cope with difficult situations. (even those as bad as the holocaust)

• Laughing boosts our immune system. (laughter is the best medicine)

• Funny people are seen as more attractive. (e-harmony found 77% of people said a sense of humour was very important to a relationship)

But what makes something funny?

The Science of Funny

Researchers at The Humor Research Lab (HURL for short) developed the ultimate humour theory.

The Benign Violation Theory.

The Benign Violation Theory states something is funny if it meets 3 conditions:

1. The situation is benign (benign means unharmful)

2. The situation is a violation (A violation is something breaking the norm)

3. Both occur at the same time.

For example:

Getting tickled makes you laugh because it’s a none threatening attack. (a benign violation)

It’s why you can’t tickle yourself, it's unharmful but doesn’t violate your safety.

It's also not funny if a stranger tickles you because you don’t know if it's unharmful.

The theory explains why humour is subjecting

A joke your friends think is funny might get a frown from your parents. People have different views of what is benign and what is a violation. Making a joke about the Titanic is only funny because the tragedy is so distant it’s become benign. 

But joking about your friend's breakup from last week isn’t funny because it's still harming them.

If something is an unharmful breaking of norms it's funny.

But how can we use this to our advantage and get people laughing?

Steal the process world-class comedians use to tell funny jokes.

Here’s how comedians like Jerry Seinfeld create belly-laughing standup routines.

People think great comedians are born funny and every joke of theirs lands. They think all they do is quickly write out some jokes before walking on stage to deliver their Netflix special.

But no one sees all the work going into it.

In reality, this is what a comedian's process looks like:

• Write out 10-15 jokes.

• Go to a small comedy bar and test their material.

• 1-2 jokes land.

• Discard most of their material.

• Repeat until they have compiled dozens of proven jokes.

• Only then walk out on the big stage to give their special.

Most of a comedian's jokes aren't funny. But they keep testing new material.

The real secret:

Telling bad jokes makes you funnier.

When you tell a bad joke your brain's subconscious analyzes what didn’t work. In this state, your brain becomes open to learning new information. When you do tell a good joke you learn much more from it because you told a bad one earlier. If the first joke you told got a laugh you wouldn't learn much.

This is the process of neuroplasticity.

As you tell more jokes you begin to recognize patterns for what is funny.

Like how a grandmaster chess player knows the next best move is in any given situation. Not because they’ve memorized every possible chess move. But because they recognize patterns from playing a lot.

You can see what comes next in the pattern below the same way a grandmaster can see the next best chess move.

It's the same for funny people.

They know what to say to get a laugh because they recognize patterns.

The more bad jokes you tell the more you develop an eye for what is funny.

Here’s what you need to do:

Go out and focus on self-amusement. Say what YOU think will be funny. Gage people's reactions and remember your best jokes. Over time, you develop a catalog of jokes you know work.

Soon you’ll have a joke you can reuse for all types of situations and people will think you're born funny.

Use these to get started:

4 super simple frameworks to tell funny jokes on the spot in any situation.

1. Say the Opposite.

One of the easiest ways to get a laugh is to say the opposite of what people expect in any given situation. 

Saying:

“Man, I should go sunbathing! This weather is amazing!” as it's raining will get a laugh.

“Man, I should have brought my 3 piece suit to this fine establishment” as you enter a fast food restaurant.

As a rule of thumb, being more specific is always funnier.

In the joke above “I should go sunbathing!” is funnier than “What nice weather we’re having”

2. Go to the extreme

Instead of saying the opposite, do a 180 and describe the extreme of a situation.

For instance, asking someone in a cast “You must have gotten into a wicked fight! what happened to the other guy?” 

Getting into a fight is more extreme than tripping and falling.

Or if someone says they’re a doctor say: “Oh so you cut people open for a living.”

Cutting people open is more extreme than prescribing medicine.

3. Make an absurd comparison

Comparing something normal to something absurd is funny.

If someone is a slow driver say: “you’re driving slower than an old turtle with a walker”

Or if something tasted good say “tastes like a bunch of angels are having a disco party on my tongue”

4. Make a list with a twist

Whenever you have a chance to list something out, list out 2 normal things and a 3rd absurd thing.

For example

“The fair was fun! We got some food, played some games and screamed like little girls on all the rides.”

“You strike me as someone who has good table manners, does their taxes on time, and has a cult-like obsession with Taylor Swift.”

The 2 normal items stand in contrast to the absurd item making it all the funnier. 

I know these 4 frameworks don't sound funny on paper but "in-the-moment humor" rarely does.

It's important to have the right tone and to be playful If people think you're serious they won't laugh.

P.S. I want to write about things that can help the most people. If you could take 30 seconds to write me back with the biggest struggle you’re facing in your social life I’d love to hear it. That way I can create resources to help you.