Why even Introverts can be the Life of the party by unleashing their hidden charisma.

If you saw my vitals you’d guess I was running from a man-eating lion or looking down the barrel of a shotgun.

My palms were sweaty, my breath was shallow, and my heart was racing almost as fast as my mind was.

But I faced something, in my mind, much more frightening: other people

My eyes stayed glued to my presentation script as I read it like a mouse. I couldn't bear looking up at my classmates, their eyes felt like balls and chains weighing me down.

After I finished with a polite applause, the next guy got up.

He stood in stark contrast to me.

He was loud and expressive. In a moment he had a class of sleepy students hanging on his every word. I envied his charisma.

The way he pulled people into his orbit felt impossible to me.

"I could never" I told myself.

As an introvert, I was born shy. My bad social skills were natural. I wasn't made with the confidence to talk to strangers. It was normal for me to struggle to make friends. I wasn't built to handle conflict.

I was an introvert. It wasn't MY fault.

You can imagine my surprise when the guy I envied said:

"I'm more of an introvert actually"

At the time I refused to believe him. The idea scared me. If true it meant I had no excuse for being the way I was.

It wasn't until years later I realized he embodied such an important lesson:

Anyone can learn to be charismatic.

Introverts are not born shy or lacking social skills. Nor are extroverts born with natural charisma. 

Take Abraham Lincoln.

He had the charisma to become president of the United States. He also abolished slavery despite fierce opposition and led his men to victory in the Civil War.

Yet his friend Noah Brooks described him as: 

“nevermore contented than when alone, communing with his own thoughts."

Or how about Warren Buffet?

As head of one of the biggest investment companies in the world, he leads over 396,500 employees.

Yet In his 20s, his wife described him as:

“reasonably socially inept and would much rather be reading”.

But he didn't let his introverted nature stand in the way of his goals. Recognizing his setback, he took the "How to Win Friends and Influence People" course. With it, he LEARNED how to deal with people.

Both Buffet and Lincoln were introverts, both learned to be charismatic.

They recognized being book-smart wasn't enough.

Learning to deal with people is the most valuable skill you can have because people run the world.

Then…

What’s the difference between introverts and extroverts?

Introverts have a smaller social battery than extroverts.

On average, they run out of social energy sooner. But by learning to navigate social situations you can make socializing less draining. We might be born with fixed batteries but we can learn to make them last longer. 

What important is to remember the size of your social battery size does not affect your social skills.

An introvert and an extrovert can both be the life of the party, the introvert might just leave earlier. 

You can learn to captivate the attention of others, make people laugh, and bring them into your orbit. But you can't use being an introvert as an excuse.

You aren’t bad with people because you’re introverted. You're bad with people because you don't know what works and haven’t practiced.

I can show you what's worked for me but it will all be in vain if all you do is read it.

You only learn if you change you're behaviour.

You need to take action on the knowledge I give you, otherwise reading these emails is a huge waste of time.

I'll make it as easy as possible for you.

Every week I'll give you clear action steps you can take to boost your charisma, but it's up to you to do them.

P.S. Every newsletter will have the 📢 emoji so you can find them easily